Socialism
You have 2 chickens. You share one with your neighbor.

Communism
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both and gives you some eggs.

Fascism
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both and sells you some eggs.

German Fascism
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both, then someone in a crisp uniform shoots you.

Big government Bureucratism
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both, shoots one, taxes the other and throws its eggs away.

Small government Libertarianism
You have 2 chickens. You love unregulated free markets to the point of anarchy until one of your chickens gets sick and dies from your polluted air and toxic water that goes unregulated. You sell the other chicken before it drops dead and invest in gold from the safety of your basement fallout shelter.

Capitalism
You have 2 chickens. You sell one and buy a rooster. Your brood multiplies. You work hard selling eggs, watching your less fortunate neighbor suffer, but you send him a basket of eggs every Christmas and overall your contributions to the economic growth of your community make you feel good. You retire on a nice income.

American Capitalism
You have 2 chickens that are twice the size of everyone else’s. You genetically engineer one to be a rooster, cram your booming brood into tiny cages with their feet and beaks cut off, inject them with antibiotics, force feed them processed remains of other chickens and sell their mutated eggs to the neighboring communities. Later, you hire outsourced consultants from China to help you figure out why your chickens have grown an extra anus and your children are dying from infections that don’t respond to antibiotics.

French Capitalism
You have 2 chickens. You make the most delicious coq au vin out of them and call it a day at 3pm.

Japanese Capitalism
You have 2 chickens. You engineer them to stay tiny chicks for life, call them chickipooks, and make a fortune selling their likenesses to Americans.

Wall Street Venture Capitalism
You have 2 chickens. You sell 3.4 of them into a Ponzi scheme so convoluted no one understands it, not even you, and then package all 6.8 of your chickens into a synthetic collateralized debt obligation. Then you sell 2 chickens to buy an election and after your paid for public servant gets to work screwing over the average guy, you come away with 13 chickens with an option on 2 more. You get everyone else to put all their eggs in your shitty basket, which you purposely constructed full of holes. You then bet against it by purchasing credit default swap insurance policies against shitty baskets. When the basket bursts from all the eggs, you make a fortune and the people are stuck with all your chickenshit.

Salute, here’s to you and:

10. Less work and more jobs.

9. More dry wine, preferably from a clay amphora.

8. No More Uggs. Because giant, fat, floppy elephant feet are not attractive, especially on girls. Soggy and stained, giant, fat, floppy elephant feet seem worse.

7. No more Loud phones with shitty speakers you can talk at while holding on an awkward angle to your face so everyone can hear your inane conversation and peg you for a massive douche. Although, at least they peg you as a massive douche so the rest of us can just avoid you out right.

6. Phones and other devices that are built to last. What happened to making things out of bronze?

5. Fresher herbs and spices.

4. The Hobbit. BILBO LIVES.

3. Smarter profiling at airports. Because detaining me in a windowless room and then body searching me was a waste of everyone’s time. If I’m going to blow something up, it’s obviously going to be an Ugg store.

2. A new cabinet for Obama.

1. More love. More liberal, hot, true, furry, crazy, skinny love.

“It is enough”, he said. “Go, children of the Lenape, the anger of the Manitou is not done. Why should Tamenund stay? The pale faces are masters of the earth, and the time of the red men has not yet come again. My day has been too long. ~James Fenimore Cooper.

Give thanks to those who came before, who once lived on the land you now do. Those wiped away so that we could lead lives of industry.  They were no more or less than you, but they were of the Earth and happier.  May they yet come again… and show us what we have never known.

And may past good times, rest in peace.

Real life Wizard, Cornel West, proves once again that he is the most hilarious wise man to kick it with.

Goddamn gorgeous. Right on brother!  But it’s not communism as this chap reasons in his text, it’s good old American monopoly capitalism. He just awoke in the corporatocracy in which we live, but misidentified it as something else, something that buzzes around in rumors and distortions on 24 our cable channels.

>NEiNPhone.

Thanks Daniel!

This guy talks like Sarah Palin and you know freedom that the American people want with family values and a bunch of other keywords randomly thrown in with no sense of grammar or meaning birth certificate, just knee-jerk moron speak drill baby, so it’s no surprise he’s considered a leader of this era’s GOP.

Here’s some other things Demint is all about:

Voted NO on repealing tax subsidy for companies which move US jobs offshore.

Voted NO on shifting $11B from corporate tax loopholes to education.

Voted NO on tax incentives for energy production and conservation.

Voted NO on $100M to reduce teen pregnancy by education & contraceptives.

Voted NO on $3.1B for emergency oil assistance for hurricane-hit areas.

Voted NO on starting implementation of Kyoto Protocol.

Voted NO on increasing Medicaid rebate for producing generics.

Voted NO on increasing minimum wage to $7.25.

Voted NO on increasing tax rate for people earning over $1 million.

Voted NO on investigating contract awards in Iraq & Afghanistan.

He just votes NO, unless it benefits big corporate power. From ontheissues.org.

This insecure right wing sociopath who channels Edith Bunker (if she thought like Joseph Stalin at the height of his paranoia) came into my neighborhood and shit himself over a guy walking his dog on Bedford ave. His fragile constitution prevents him from being comfortable with individualism - that’s what we call it in America you ignorant homunculus.  They’d murder this guy in Texas.

The long-beaked echidna, or Zaglossus bartoni, is one of only 3 egg-laying mammals (on this planet).

“Another avianlike feature is the cloaca, the single orifice through which an echidna or platypus voids waste, has sex and lays eggs, and by which the group gets its name. Yet through that uni-perforation, a male echnida can extrude a four-headed penis.”

from NYTimes.

I could write for days about that, and it would only be a list of facts, gimme a week to include some colorful language. But it really comes down to this right now… take it away Jesse.

Jesse “the body” Ventura, former wrestler, Navy Seal, Governor, and GiJoe figure.