The lights, the melodrama, the pensive, mid point psychedelic break no one in modern music would ever dream of, and that huge polyphonic reverb….

Canvas chucks outside Cozumel, good for establishing American dominance at ports.

People, especially Americans, have no idea how to dress for the occasion. This is never more evident than on a cruise ship. The masses dress no differently than they would on a hot day on the porch: shiny athletic shorts, flip flips, polos, XL T-shirts. The more adventurous wear T-shirts with bad prints from mall clothing stores with names that sound like law firms.

The glory days of tuxedos and top hats are gone, but proper attire is still in order. Here’s what a man needs on a ship, or yacht in these more casual, globally warmer times:

1. Tailored white fine linen dress pants and shirts.
2. A tailored waistcoat.
3. Deck shoes or canvas sneakers (forget the handmade dress shoes the salty air ruins them and you can’t spontaneously wade into the ocean).
4. Knit nautical sweater for the cold hurricane nights.
5. Dyed linen pants for excursions (loose, rollable, and won’t show every rum stain).
6. Assorted sashes, bandannas, sabers, pistols and a decent spyglass.

For starters the forlorn recommends Marc Jacobs, Rag and Bone, YMC, A.P.C., and most importantly your Great Grandfather’s closet, trunk, or attic.

Girl’s wore little but rompers and playsuits back in the kind and good early 80′s (as far as i’m concerned) and it’s high time people get over themselves and wear them in great numbers again.

Few things fight global warming like a good romper. There’s barely a better way to cut down on the AC and lay around with a pomegranate popsicle. Another thing we should see more often around here.

It’s disturbing to hear trash talk about the environmentally conscious flowers who’ve already whole heartedly embraced the romper’s simple aesthetic.

“Yeah um, I’m not dressing like my baby,” one critic said in 4-inch fake diamond studded flip flops. Oh you’d rather dress like a whore. Cute is more. Stop having babies you idiot.

New York’s Samantha Pleet does the elegant romper.

Rompers aren’t just the domain of American Apparel. No, a girl can wear the right one to anything. Clear out your summer closet.