Posted on August 17th, 2011 at 2:02 pm by :(
You have 2 chickens. You share one with your neighbor.
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both and gives you some eggs.
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both and sells you some eggs.
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both, then someone in a crisp uniform shoots you.
Big government Bureucratism
You have 2 chickens. The State takes both, shoots one, taxes the other and throws its eggs away.
Small government Libertarianism
You have 2 chickens. You love unregulated free markets to the point of anarchy until one of your chickens gets sick and dies from your polluted air and toxic water that goes unregulated. You sell the other chicken before it drops dead and invest in gold from the safety of your basement fallout shelter.
You have 2 chickens. You sell one and buy a rooster. Your brood multiplies. You work hard selling eggs, watching your less fortunate neighbor suffer, but you send him a basket of eggs every Christmas and overall your contributions to the economic growth of your community make you feel good. You retire on a nice income.
You have 2 chickens that are twice the size of everyone else’s. You genetically engineer one to be a rooster, cram your booming brood into tiny cages with their feet and beaks cut off, inject them with antibiotics, force feed them processed remains of other chickens and sell their mutated eggs to the neighboring communities. Later, you hire outsourced consultants from China to help you figure out why your chickens have grown an extra anus and your children are dying from infections that don’t respond to antibiotics.
You have 2 chickens. You make the most delicious coq au vin out of them and call it a day at 3pm.
You have 2 chickens. You engineer them to stay tiny chicks for life, call them chickipooks, and make a fortune selling their likenesses to Americans.
Wall Street Venture Capitalism
You have 2 chickens. You sell 3.4 of them into a Ponzi scheme so convoluted no one understands it, not even you, and then package all 6.8 of your chickens into a synthetic collateralized debt obligation. Then you sell 2 chickens to buy an election and after your paid for public servant gets to work screwing over the average guy, you come away with 13 chickens with an option on 2 more. You get everyone else to put all their eggs in your shitty basket, which you purposely constructed full of holes. You then bet against it by purchasing credit default swap insurance policies against shitty baskets. When the basket bursts from all the eggs, you make a fortune and the people are stuck with all your chickenshit.